Romance of Entropy
by yiting
Summary: Kana may have lost her memories, but she still has the same heart. Will her love transcend her ability to remember? Hatori x Kana
1. Chapter I: Disorder

**Romance of Entropy**

**Chapter I: Disorder**

He didn't like the fall. It was the transition period that constituted entropy. Although entropy was only the natural state of things, he wanted things to be orderly. No, to be honest, he _needed_ things to be orderly.

It was just the way he was. But autumn defied it all, using her warm day breezes to lull the unsuspecting passerby into a false sense of comfort, only to cloak the day with a frosty darkness. The mess of conflicting seasons, conflicting emotions, was just too much.

The snow would come; inevitably, sooner than he could predict. Memories of her would come rushing back. Not even the snow could numb the pain of loss. It was the loss of more than just a first love. Without her, it was the loss of sunshine, comfort, hope. However, by now, he had already accepted his fate.

His black leather shoes slightly scraped the sidewalk with each step, kicking up dried leaves brittle at the edges. Hands in his white coat's pockets, his eyes scanned the lonely streets. Time to time, a boy and girl would walk by, hand in hand, smiling and laughing. He had once been that boy, but now he could only look upon the situation as a war veteran; he had been through too much since those blithe times. It was times like these in which he almost wished he wasn't a Sohma. To be free to hold the one you love; such a simple request that could not be granted. Thus was the nature of the curse.

"Hatori-san!" a familiar voice broke through his solitude and a petite figure came rushing from behind.

"Kana-san. It's been a while."

"Yes it has. I've been meaning to bump into you," she smiled. Hatori almost returned her contagious gesture, yet he had long forgotten the feel of a smile upon his lips.

"What brings you here? I heard that you moved to Tokyo with your husband."

"I'm just visiting family and friends. Updates on life, and so forth."

"How is your new job?"

"It's just wonderful! Though, without your training first I would be nothing! Actually, I also came down here because I wanted to thank you for everything. I don't think I ever properly thanked you."

"Don't even think about throwing the responsibility upon me. You were fit to succeed already."

Kana blushed. Never had such praise been thrust upon her! "Well, enough about me! How have you been?"

The question was bound to have bore its ugly face some time or another. Nonetheless, Hatori was unprepared. What was he to say? He loved her, she forgot him, and from then on he lived a meaningless existence while trying to force love out of his thoughts? "Busy with work, as always. The family's sicknesses keep me occupied."

"Ah Hatori-san, always so solemn. You're starting to sound like a work-a-holic. Take a break. Maybe you'd like to go see Tokyo? It's a beautiful city."

"I can't. It's that time of year where Akito-san has a tendency of needing much medical assistance."

"You know what, Hatori-san? One day I am going to book you a weeklong vacation to somewhere in the world. And then maybe, I'll get to catch your rare smile. Or your relaxed face. Something."

He almost wanted to tell her that she had already seen all of those things. And more. He wanted to tell her that it was she, Kana, who gave him that sort of happiness to lighten up. But those days were gone. Unfortunately, she would never know that.


	2. Chapter II: Discordant

**Chapter II: Discordant**

There was something missing in his eyes. She could sense it even when his gaze did not set upon her. He had never been an exceedingly cheerful one, but he had never been so stone-like either. The foreboding feeling that crept up her spine told her the inevitable: something had happened. It was obviously not in her business to delve into a blatantly private matter. Still, they had once been co-workers and had the same Sohma blood running through their veins; she cared for his wellbeing as any cousin would have.

He still had that same handsome face. It was seasoned and neatly sculpted, bearing grievances without displaying a wrinkle. He was still young and seemed to already understand all the world's workings behind his staid disposition.

Kana sighed. He would never cease to be handsome. One tiny part of her regretted not ever having their relationship transcend a friendship, just to see what it would have been like. However, she pushed the guilty notion out of her thoughts. It was a shallow thing to speak of, really. She hated herself for ever allowing herself to be so superficial. She loved her husband. He was everything she ever wanted in a life companion, and she knew they complemented each other like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. It was something she just felt in the way their two energies would synchronize. Only a feeling. Sometimes, it didn't need to get much further than that. Compatibility. Love. What more to explain?

Her old quarters within the Sohma residence still bade her welcome. It provided her with a familiarity in which she had craved since her move to Tokyo. She loved the city life, yet nothing could beat the serenity of home. Lifting the light switch of her bedroom, she hung her long woolen coat upon the door rack and fell into the bed headfirst.

Hatori had walked her home; it was hardly out of his way anyhow. The conversation home had been littered with formalities, and she seemed to remember slightly more casual talk when she had still been working for him. She had marveled at the fact that their breaths could be seen in faint puffs; summer had just dominated the skies hardly a week ago.

The communication had ended with a simple "good night" from each of them. She wished the walk had taken longer.


	3. Chapter III: Fissure

**Chapter III: Fissure**

What did it mean to bear the ponderous load of a broken heart? When he had first erased Kana's memories by the proficiency of is own hand, it had led to nothing. A dark void; a pain beyond that which could be felt. Yet also relief. Shame would no longer ensnare her heart with thoughts of him. It had not been her fault to begin with; however; she had taken Akito's words and wrapped herself in them, convinced by lies and guilt.

Now she was in high spirits and oblivious to the darkness that had fallen between them. He was left to stomach the bitter aftertaste. _If only you knew…_

If only she had known the late empty hours he had lay on the couch in his office, lights shut, necktie astray, eyes set on the off-white ceiling, thoughts encircling behind his immobile temperament. If only she had known his feeling of a heart dropping into nothingness when a photograph appeared, displaying the ghost of a face, the ghost of a love: unreciprocated and forgotten.

If only…then what? What would it have meant for her to have always known? Would it have changed anything? Was Akito's wrath inevitable? Was their courtship bound to end? The questions clawed at his insides. A world of what-if's engulfed his very being. _It's useless to live like this._ But he had no choice in the matter. Akito's word…it was always his word. The curse…

If he saw her again, he would break.

And so would she, for that matter. Eventually, at the very least. There had been reason behind his subtle avoidance of all contact with her. What he had done to her was his final act to try to salvage their existence. All those months; he couldn't let them disappear so easily. So he had done something about it. In the spur of the moment, there had seemed to be no consequences. To the best of his knowledge, Akito still had no idea that Kana was much more than a blank slate; she was much more than what met the eye. However, if the secret was let out, there was no saying what Akito would find as a worthy punishment. Death almost seemed within his reach to inflict. Now that he thought about it, the consequences overshadowed what had originally been a result of good intentions: for her as well as himself.

He found himself in his office; funny how he considered his workplace a home. His house held nothing but emptiness. He had nothing in which to surround him. However, his office provided the solace of impending labor. There was paperwork he could get lost in and keep his mind off of petty issues. Well, he tried to brush them off as petty, but that was a difficult task in itself.

Not a single photograph had been thrown out of place since the separation. A brown, leather-bound photo album filled with moments from their halcyon days was tucked neatly into the side of one of the shelves. Only one small photo was framed and out in the open. In the photograph, her smile evinced a serene sense of mind. A tiny crack in the glass did not hinder the photograph from taking on seraphic qualities. He wondered how one person could be so beautiful. He wondered if he could fix the frame. Or if he should.


End file.
